
Waiting for something important can be agonising. It’s a particular kind of discomfort, one that sits in the pit of your stomach and gnaws away as the days go by. Recently, I experienced this firsthand while waiting for feedback on my chartership application. The report arrived five months later than expected, and with every follow-up email that seemed to disappear into a black hole, the frustration grew. I now know that the organisation was undergoing internal changes, which caused the delays. The experience made me reflect on how we can help ourselves and our coachees to navigate the pain of waiting.
In our professional lives as well as our personal lives, we’re all familiar with the pain of waiting—whether it’s for a decision on a project, a new role, or even the resolution of an issue that’s dragging on. Sometimes, it feels as though time stands still, while you’re left in limbo. It’s not just about the wait itself, but also about navigating the uncertainty it brings. Here are some learnings from my experience of coping with the discomfort and how I help others manage it too.
The Weight of Uncertainty
It’s not unusual to feel stuck or powerless when you’re waiting for something beyond your control. The uncertainty can create an internal pressure, amplifying every day that goes by without an answer. Psychologically, this happens because our brains are wired to seek resolution; uncertainty forces us to stay on alert, causing stress and anxiety to build. This is especially difficult for professionals facing a transition, such as redundancy, returning to work after a break, or adjusting to a new role.
In my case, waiting for the chartership feedback became more than just a delayed outcome—it was a daily reminder of an unresolved goal. I could see how the lack of information was affecting my focus, and I wasn’t alone in this. A fellow coaching psychologist, also navigating her own chartership waiting game, became an important ally. There was something grounding about having someone who understood the emotional toll of the wait. Finding an ally to wait with can transform an isolating experience into a shared journey.
Controlling the Controllables
During the wait, I found myself looking for ways to regain a sense of agency. One thing I could control was how I used my time and energy. I noticed that I'd stagnated while I was waiting. I decided that rather than putting my career on hold, I should redirect my efforts towards other professional goals, projects, and learning opportunities. It wasn’t about distraction, but rather about striving to continue to move forward despite the pause.
The principle of "controlling the controllables" is common in sports psychology but applies equally well in a work setting. By focusing on the actions you can take—whether it’s networking, upskilling, or setting new goals—you create momentum, even if progress in other areas feels stalled. It’s a way of keeping your professional journey alive, rather than letting it languish in uncertainty.
The Value of Acceptance
Acceptance became a crucial turning point in managing my stress. The delays weren’t within my control, and no amount of follow-up emails would change that reality. Psychologically, accepting the situation helped reduce the cognitive load of constantly hoping for an answer that might not come soon. Instead of fighting the uncertainty, I started to see it as part of the process. Of course, how resourced I was feeling impacted how easy that was to do.
In coaching, acceptance isn’t about giving up on an outcome—it’s about recognising where your influence ends and adapting accordingly. Whether it’s waiting for feedback or trying to thrive in a changing work environment, acceptance allows you to redirect your energy from worrying about things you can’t change to focusing on what you can.
Setting Expectations for Yourself and Others
Managing expectations plays a significant role in dealing with delays. When organisations face internal restructuring, responses may be slower, and processes may take longer. Understanding this upfront would have helped to set my expectations more realistically.
When you’re the one waiting, try to acknowledge that the outcome might take longer than you’d like, and allow yourself to adjust. When others are waiting for you, set clear expectations and provide updates, even if the update is simply, "There’s no news yet." This transparency reduces anxiety and helps everyone involved to prepare for potential delays.
Finding Allies and Making Connections
The value of connection became evident to me as I navigated the months-long delay. My colleague and I weren’t just supporting each other through the waiting game; we were also sharing knowledge, swapping insights, and keeping each other motivated. In a professional context, finding allies who understand your situation, mentors who have been through similar experiences, or coaches who can support you in your discomfort, can be invaluable.
Others help to provide perspective, and even laughter on difficult days, which can make the waiting less painful. Connecting with others also introduces new opportunities for growth that might not have been considered before. When facing a different or challenging professional context, it’s these relationships that can transform the wait from a period of stagnation to a time of meaningful progress.
Strategies for Navigating Delays
The experience of waiting may always be uncomfortable, but there are ways to ease the pain:
Accept the Situation
Acknowledge what is beyond your control. Acceptance can reduce stress and free up energy to focus on actionable tasks.
Control the Controllables
Find areas where you can make progress—whether in your professional development or on parallel projects. Movement helps maintain a sense of purpose.
Set Realistic Expectations
Adjust timelines and prepare for potential delays. When managing others’ expectations, be transparent about possible uncertainties.
Seek Allies and Connect
Don’t wait in isolation. Reach out to peers, mentors, or networks that can offer support, encouragement, and perspective.
Provide Timely Updates if Others Are Waiting for You
Communicate regularly, even if the update is "still waiting." This helps others manage their own expectations and reduces their stress.
The wait for my chartership feedback eventually ended (this week, yay!), as all waiting does. The pain of waiting is real, but with the right strategies, it can be transformed from a passive experience into one that fosters growth, connection, and even a bit of wisdom. I will try and remember my own advice over the next few weeks as I await the date for my viva!
If navigating uncertainty is getting overwhelming, do reach out for a chat to find out how coaching can support you.
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