A new year feels like a clean slate. It’s a time to dream big, set intentions, and commit to positive changes. But for many of us, those bright ambitions fade as the weeks roll on. By February, the resolutions that felt so exciting in January can feel like a distant memory.
What happens? Why do we so often fall back into old habits, even when we really want to change?
One of the biggest reasons is our discomfort with uncertainty. Resolutions, by their very nature, take us out of our comfort zones. They demand that we do things differently, and that can feel unsettling. Our old habits—while they may not serve us—offer a sense of safety and predictability.
Why We Return to Old Habits
When you think about it, your habits are your brain’s way of being efficient. They’re well-worn pathways, comfortable routines that require little effort or thought. Whether it’s reaching for a biscuit with your tea or scrolling through your phone before bed, these habits feel easy because they’re familiar.
Change, on the other hand, requires stepping into the unknown. And the brain doesn’t love the unknown. Uncertainty triggers a part of the brain that’s wired to keep us safe—the amygdala. It sees unpredictability as a potential threat, even if the “threat” is something as simple as starting a new fitness routine or learning a skill you’ve never tried before.
In those moments, the pull of old habits becomes even stronger. They offer comfort, stability, and the reassurance of what’s familiar. It’s no wonder we’re tempted to slip back into them when faced with the uncertainty of doing things differently.
Why Uncertainty Feels So Difficult
Uncertainty isn’t just about not knowing what will happen. It’s about fearing that our efforts won’t pay off. Will going to the gym three times a week really make me feel fitter? Will skipping the chocolate cake actually make a difference?
When progress feels slow or the results aren’t immediate, doubts creep in. Those doubts feed the discomfort of not knowing if we’re on the right track. It’s easier—and often more appealing—to return to what we know, even if it means giving up on our goals.
How to Break the Cycle
The good news is that you can manage the discomfort of uncertainty and create new habits that stick. Here are some ideas of what you can do to:
Make Your Goals Feel Familiar
Instead of overhauling your life, focus on small, manageable changes that feel less intimidating. If you want to start exercising, begin with a 10-minute walk rather than committing to hour-long gym sessions. Or going once a week, rather than every day. Small steps feel safer and build familiarity and confidence over time.
Anticipate the Wobble
Understand that moments of doubt or difficulty are normal. They don’t mean you’ve failed—they mean you’re human. Expecting these moments, and planning for them, helps you stay the course when they happen.
Focus on What You Can Control
Uncertainty often feels overwhelming because we fixate on outcomes we can’t guarantee. Instead, shift your focus to the actions you can take today. You might not know if your resolution will lead to a big transformation, but you can commit to one healthy meal or one productive hour.
Reassure Your Brain
When the pull of old habits feels strong, remind yourself that you’re safe. Change doesn’t have to be perfect, and discomfort doesn’t mean danger. It's perfectly normal not to feel comfortable about running in the rain, do it anyway, and remember how it feels once you have. Taking slow, steady steps forward calms the brain’s fear response over time.
Celebrate Progress
Every small win—whether it’s choosing water over a sugary drink or finishing a 10-minute meditation—deserves recognition. Apps like Strava or Garmin are great for this too! Celebrating progress reinforces your new habits and makes them feel just as rewarding as the old ones.
A Final Thought
Returning to old habits feels natural because they’re familiar and comforting. But familiarity isn’t the same as growth. Change often feels messy and uncertain, but it’s also where we learn, adapt, and surprise ourselves with what we can achieve.
This year, if you find yourself struggling with your resolutions, don’t give up. Recognise that discomfort is part of the process, not a sign to stop. Lean into the small steps, the imperfect progress, and the joy of trying something new.
Here’s to embracing the unknown - and making it a little less scary.
Hi, I’m Annabelle, a Coaching Psychologist and Executive Coach. I help thoughtful professionals and teams build confidence and clarity to make better decisions and thrive through change.
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