When is it wise to let go?

When is it wise to let go?

It is a question that has come up in several conversations this week and one that the autumn trees seem far better at answering!

When plans shift unexpectedly, the real source of stress is often not the change itself but the mind’s difficulty in releasing the version of events it had already committed to. Once we form an expectation, the brain treats it as a reference point. Anything that deviates from it can feel like a loss, even when the new reality is perfectly manageable.

This is known as cognitive anchoring and it is one of the reasons uncertainty is so uncomfortable. We cling to the original plan because it offered a sense of order. When that picture changes, the mind takes time to catch up.

On my dog walk yesterday, I noticed the last leaves falling. Trees do not shed because something has gone wrong. They let go to conserve energy for the months ahead. In psychology we might call this adaptive disengagement. It is the ability to step back from goals or assumptions that no longer fit the situation and redirect your energy more usefully.

Humans are not always as efficient. We often keep investing energy in holding on to an expectation that has already expired. Not (always) through stubbornness, but because our nervous system is drawn to familiarity, even when it is no longer useful.

So when is it wise to let go?

A few indicators can help:

- Does holding on help you respond, or does it narrow your options?

- Is your effort moving you forwards, or keeping the old picture alive?

- What does the evidence tell you today? Not what you hoped would happen, but what is actually in front of you?

Letting go doesn't have to be lowering your ambition. It is reallocating your energy to where it can genuinely make a difference.

As we start the weekend, and the season shifts closer towards winter, what might you reassess, and what might you release so you can think more clearly and act with more purpose?

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Hi, I am Annabelle, a Coaching Psychologist and Executive Coach at Change Navigating. I help thoughtful professionals and teams build confidence and clarity to make better decisions and thrive through change and uncertainty.